How do I heal from a loss? Is there an appropriate way to grieve? When will I get over this? Why is (insert name) able to handle this so much better than me? These are a few of the questions you may ask yourself when in the throes of grief. Managing and coping with grief is an unavoidable experience. We all must find a way to cope with grief, but how we do it is not a one size fits all. Throughout the ages, people have coped by participating in rituals, academic exercises, and various other means. Most of us our looking for a meaningful way to grieve and make senses of the losses that we experience. Many theories have been put forward, in psychology, meant to help us cope and move on from the unpleasant feelings of grief and loss.
One of the most notable and often quoted theory related to grief and loss are the 5 stages of grief by Elizabeth Kübler -Ross’. According to her, the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance happens to all people in the same order. Admittedly this theory is straightforward, but research has shown it is not always this simple. It does not consider the person and a whole and individual circumstances. When experiencing grief and loss it is extremely important to view grief and loss in the context of your own identity and your physical, psychological, social and spiritual needs. To understand that grieving is a natural process, whether it is the loss of a person, an experience or an idea about how things were “going to be”. The process is different for everyone, so grief and loss cannot be measured via someone else’s experience. No one experiences grief and loss the same thing. Grief is personal and different circumstances may mean different ways of grieving. Grief is not on a timer and there isn’t’ the right way to do it. If you decide you need help coping with the feelings and changes, we can support you in your process.